Curbing an Emtional Outburst

The latest statistics tell us that 1,837,529 acres of Texas lands have been consumed by wildfires and that 902 homes have been lost. Meteorologists are not predicting any major relief until June or July. The Texas Forest Service is continually updating the Current Texas Wildfire Situation, as they are calling it, on their website. 208 out of the 254 counties in Texas are currently burning and reporting burn bans.

Facts are without emotion. Facts tell you what is going on. We rely on facts to keep us informed and moving forward. But what these facts don't tell you about, are the 100+ year old ranches being burned to a crisp. The miles and miles of fence line, expensive fence line, that will need to be replaced by ranchers who've done their best to just hold on to their land through the economical crisis of the past few years. You read 902 homes and it shakes you but it just says homes. Some of these homes are 100 years old. These are the homesteads where great-grandparents and grandparents were born, were raised, were wed. Texas Historical Markers dot the landscape of our great state telling the stories of men and women who chose the rugged land of South West Texas to bring their families and to build their life stories. Small towns gather memorabilia for their museums, which would not be so interesting in any "city museum", but tell the stories of communities that were built based on cattle and sheep and goats and family lineage that stayed in place for over a century.

I am the great-great-grand daughter of the first graduate of Ozona High School. The West and Carson families have made their homes their for over a century. Continuing a tradition of ranching throughout the years and growing with the times. There isn't an abundance of livestock anymore, as that does not bring in the money. So we lease land for hunting and drilling and hope that every year we make enough to keep it all but not enough that the government will tax us into destitution. We hold onto the land at all cost. It, is our history. Our roots are deep. No matter where we go, where we live, the land is our home.

Sleepy Hollow. That is the Carson ranch. My Daddy has worked their his whole life, with the exception of his time served in the Army and in Vietnam. I am a person who is deeply connected to my history. My family history sits at the core of who I am. I believe in knowing where I came from. That knowing is what builds you. My summers and holidays were spent in the cab of my Daddy's truck going to the ranch. Playing games with the women at the hunting camp and checking wind mills and tanks and troughs and feeding livestock. This fire is not just burning the land.

I feel it, 7 hours away in Frisco, Texas. To know that the house that has stood since 1914 is threatened by wildfires, burns behind my eyelids. To know that memories of Thanksgivings and SkipBo games and lazy afternoons on the screened porch and baking Snickerdoodles with NoNo and picking Figs for preserves are threatened by wildfires, burns my throat. To know that there is absolutely nothing I can do makes the heat wash over me in waves. We will lose the Hunting Camp and there is not much we can do about that. We will rebuild. It is not a question, we just will.

But when I turn on my Television in the morning and our President is taking time to address the ridiculous questions of his birth. When the most brilliant minds of our great nation are reduced to bickering school children. When the people of our country are more interested in petty debates and flashy speeches. I burn yet again. I want to scream. I want to physically shake these people who are "in charge". What will it take for the media to understand that there are so many more important things to be reporting on. The story is not old! These fires are not yesterday's headlines! The federal government should be sending help! The federal government should be focused on our land, on our borders, we are not the international police force. Our President and our Congressmen and our Senators... our leaders should be listening to the people of this nation. But they are not. And they will not. They listen to money. And we the people, have very little of that.

Our country is falling apart at the seams. The fabric of our nation is unraveling because we have chosen to take sides. To align ourselves with a group of 'like" minded individuals. We have all chosen to stop looking at our neighbors and our fellow community members as a part of the whole. We now see people as either with us or against us. What will it take to simply have us line up side by side and rebuild our nation? 9-11 worked for a while, Hurricane Katrina worked for a while. But nothing seems to work for very long. It is time to simply get over ourselves.

So until that time I'll continue to burn as the land of my ancestors is currently burning. Floods and tornadoes and death and life altering changes are rocking our country and yet we fight for our right to be louder that the person next to us. We are failing our children and our grandchildren. We are failing ourselves.

If I seem emotional, if I seem not altogether gathered in my thought process it is because I know not where to begin. My brain is filled to overflowing with thoughts and anger and passion. The fire rages loudly and over rides all emotion. Your skin crawls with the heat and you hear it eating away at everything, you smell the smoke and you can see the yellow and orange flames burning brightly right before your eyes. And you taste. You taste the mesquite and the cedar and the death of the land on the tip of your tongue. I don't have to be there. It all burns in my mind's eye, inside me, right here. Seven hours away.