Where to begin...
Let's start with the office:
Organization is very much needed in this space. And I think I'll do before and after pictures (possibly during photos as well) so that I can see the improvements. It needs to be gutted and rearranged and sorted through and a few things need to be purchased for more storage/ better storage.
- filing cabinet: at least two drawers and small enough to go under one end of the desk
- smaller (8 cubby) shelf that matches existing shelf (Ikea)
- orange boxes for the above (8)
- 8 foot folding table for work space (currently I have 2, 3 1/2 foot tables)
I need a filing system for both businesses, bill paying, and orders that are waiting to be produced. Also need some sort of mail center that can hang on the wall. I'm a fan of going vertical!
The scrapbooking "stuff" needs to be gutted. I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at a bulk of it in two years. Ribbon needs to be sorted, as do embellishments. And pictures have got to be purged. Let's face it if it is two years old and you've already scrapped that specific outing or adventure and there are left over pictures... just throw them away! But alas I hang on to them as if some magical project will come along and I will need that specific picture.
Moving on to the closets and cabinets:
I'm closeter. What is a closeter you ask? Well its person who shoves stuff in closets and cabinets and hopes they stay closed. The house looks clean so therefore it is. The only problem with this is every time I open a cabinet or closet, I want to crawl out of my skin. Specifically, the linen closet in the hall, the boy's closets and the coat closet. My closet isn't too bad actually. The boys closets are mutli-purpose currently as their clothes are so small. Carson's stores my American Girl Doll Samantha and all of her accessories. She can't go in the attic, because she'll melt or warp and what if I need her again someday?!?!?!? Also random holiday decorations that aren't safe for the attic. Logan's has some of my clothes that I never wear or even look at or even remember for that matter and costumes. And the dreaded plastic drawer storage of stuff I've had since college. I'm not even sure what is in that thing!
And then we have the kitchen cabinet on the island. It has become my shove it in and forget about it. I know this because the plates I used for the 2009 Christmas party are in it, taunting me. As well as a few kitchen gadgets I've not touched since we moved into the house, which of course means, I don't need them.
And oh lordy, the bathroom cabinets are a frightening mess!
Under the beds will be last. And whatever is under mine is surely not safe to touch. Whatever is under Carson's, well it isn't quite as old so maybe it will be alright.
When all of the above is done it it will be time to get serious about a few of the following things:
1. Finding a church
2. Budget
3. Gym time
4. A day for bill paying
5. A cleaning schedule
6. Filing system
7. Coupons
8. Finding summer programs for Carson
I am a pro at the list making, am I not? The Christmas is down and it is more than time to start on everything. Stay tuned for photos... I know you are at the edge of your seats!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Where/ Why/ Who
Questions. Simple questions. Very difficult answers depending on the application of the small word. It's not "Where are my keys?" or "Where are we going?"... it's "Where do I want to be a year, 5 years, 10 years from now?". And if it was a geographical question it would be simpler, I'm sure. But it isn't geographical at all.
Why? Well, because I'm not completely happy or satisfied. Don't misunderstand, please. I'm happy. I just feel as if there are some things missing. And its time to get serious about creating a life that completely satisfies me. There was a news program on TV this morning about women who are turning 50 this year and are reclaiming their lives. I don't want to wait until I'm 50 to start discovering WHO I'm meant to be.
And on we go to Who. Who am I? What makes me happy? What do I enjoy? What will make my life easier? What needs to change in order to live my best life possible? And so I am now embarking on the list. Oh, the list. Don't consider it a bucket list, because it isn't... maybe I'll do that later on in the year. This list will be about me. Things I need to do, to accomplish, to try, so that I can live my very best life. I know there are books on the subject. I might even grab a few and read them, a trip to the bookstore sounds great actually! Some of these things are simple. Clean out the closets, get rid of the clutter, learn to put things away after I use them, stop stacking things on top of each other and creating piles of junk everywhere.
Oh my goodness, the clutter! I hate clutter. Hate it and yet I continually allow it to dominate my spaces. This has to stop. It makes me nervous and antsy and angry. I need filing systems for paperwork for both businesses that consist of more than a folder stuffed to capacity. I NEED a filing system for Jason and I! We need a tougher living budget and the boys have too many toys. My craft room needs an overhaul as does my kitchen. And most of all, the first thing that must happen, THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS MUST COME DOWN!
Church has got to be a priority again. And since Jason and I are in the process of trying to find a new church home, I've got to do some research, ask some questions and get serious about it. We want something that feels small, so we can get to know people, but is large enough to provide multiple opportunities for involvement, and has a well developed music program. And it must be closer to home. Bent Tree is wonderful, we love it there but the distance makes weekly involvement almost impossible.
Three months ago I was spending five days a week at the gym. I felt so good about myself. I almost can't put it into words. I'm going to go with endorphins. I was happier, healthier, I looked better. And it needs to be a larger priority but as we all know, when we get busy, the first thing to go is the gym.
So these questions need answering and I'm going to work on those answers but first I'm going to make a list. I feel like if I take care of the small things in my life that are overwhelming me that the larger things will start to fall into place. That if the small things that take over my brain power are erased then I can focus more clearly on the tasks that will help me to become someone I smile at in the mirror. The ultimate goal: to be someone that God, my husband and my children can be proud of. Or maybe someone I can be proud of... I'll work on that one.
Why? Well, because I'm not completely happy or satisfied. Don't misunderstand, please. I'm happy. I just feel as if there are some things missing. And its time to get serious about creating a life that completely satisfies me. There was a news program on TV this morning about women who are turning 50 this year and are reclaiming their lives. I don't want to wait until I'm 50 to start discovering WHO I'm meant to be.
And on we go to Who. Who am I? What makes me happy? What do I enjoy? What will make my life easier? What needs to change in order to live my best life possible? And so I am now embarking on the list. Oh, the list. Don't consider it a bucket list, because it isn't... maybe I'll do that later on in the year. This list will be about me. Things I need to do, to accomplish, to try, so that I can live my very best life. I know there are books on the subject. I might even grab a few and read them, a trip to the bookstore sounds great actually! Some of these things are simple. Clean out the closets, get rid of the clutter, learn to put things away after I use them, stop stacking things on top of each other and creating piles of junk everywhere.
Oh my goodness, the clutter! I hate clutter. Hate it and yet I continually allow it to dominate my spaces. This has to stop. It makes me nervous and antsy and angry. I need filing systems for paperwork for both businesses that consist of more than a folder stuffed to capacity. I NEED a filing system for Jason and I! We need a tougher living budget and the boys have too many toys. My craft room needs an overhaul as does my kitchen. And most of all, the first thing that must happen, THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS MUST COME DOWN!
Church has got to be a priority again. And since Jason and I are in the process of trying to find a new church home, I've got to do some research, ask some questions and get serious about it. We want something that feels small, so we can get to know people, but is large enough to provide multiple opportunities for involvement, and has a well developed music program. And it must be closer to home. Bent Tree is wonderful, we love it there but the distance makes weekly involvement almost impossible.
Three months ago I was spending five days a week at the gym. I felt so good about myself. I almost can't put it into words. I'm going to go with endorphins. I was happier, healthier, I looked better. And it needs to be a larger priority but as we all know, when we get busy, the first thing to go is the gym.
So these questions need answering and I'm going to work on those answers but first I'm going to make a list. I feel like if I take care of the small things in my life that are overwhelming me that the larger things will start to fall into place. That if the small things that take over my brain power are erased then I can focus more clearly on the tasks that will help me to become someone I smile at in the mirror. The ultimate goal: to be someone that God, my husband and my children can be proud of. Or maybe someone I can be proud of... I'll work on that one.
Friday, January 14, 2011
This redefinition thing...
I love being on stage. I love it, I crave it.
Designing Women is one of my all time favorite shows and one episode has stuck with me probably my whole life. At one point Delta Burke's character, is feeling low, the episode is about her trying to find herself again. As we all know her personal weight struggles were often showcased on the show. But at the end of the episode she talks about a box. A box she thinks every woman should own. A beautiful but ordinary box that would sit on our dressers and when we needed it, we could open it. And from the ordinary box would come applause. Loud, room filling applause that reminded us that we are great. We are magnificent. We are beautiful and worthy and lovely and graceful and intelligent and feminine and strong. All the things that women want and need to know about themselves. And somehow applause, endless cheering and hand clapping can provide that.
And for me it can. I learned this at an early age. I love applause. The biggest rush I've ever felt in my life is taking a solo bow on a stage flooded with lights while an auditorium full of people stood and applauded... me. In my mind I can still close my eyes and take myself back to that moment. I felt. I truly felt. It's that welling of emotions inside you that strangles your throat and turns your stomach and washes your thoughts away and allows you to just feel. It's overwhelming and amazing and it's a feeling that cannot be replaced by anything else. At least not for me.
And it's considered vain by most people. To desire praise. To need affirmation in that most public way. And I'm okay with that. Tonight, the show that, I have to be completely honest, allowed me to find myself again, opens. Tonight, as long as everything flows the way it should. Those applause will once again be mine. And I will treasure them. I will open my heart and let them fill it and then I will hold them inside me for later.
I crave that stage and everything that goes with it. To lose myself in a character. To become someone else, if only for a short time, to escape into a world that is far less mundane than my own. It about suspension of disbelief. And perceptions and I love that on the stage, my reality is irrelevant. That someone's story is more important than my own. It's the drama queen in me. You get to play with heightened emotions and words. You get to dance around topics not discussed. You are allowed to push social strictures and politically correct lines and vulgar phrasing and just be. Just be. As people we are never allowed to just be. I think, and hope, that at some point in my life, I will be able to sit and just be. I imagine its a feeling of calm within oneself. I've come close in Pilates classes to reaching that place. That absoluteness of peace. And then my brain kicks in. The closest I ever come, is in the applause. When it surrounds me. When it washes over me. When the applause immerse me in absolute sound and shut my brain off. I can't think in the applause, I can only feel.
I really need to find one of those boxes.
Designing Women is one of my all time favorite shows and one episode has stuck with me probably my whole life. At one point Delta Burke's character, is feeling low, the episode is about her trying to find herself again. As we all know her personal weight struggles were often showcased on the show. But at the end of the episode she talks about a box. A box she thinks every woman should own. A beautiful but ordinary box that would sit on our dressers and when we needed it, we could open it. And from the ordinary box would come applause. Loud, room filling applause that reminded us that we are great. We are magnificent. We are beautiful and worthy and lovely and graceful and intelligent and feminine and strong. All the things that women want and need to know about themselves. And somehow applause, endless cheering and hand clapping can provide that.
And for me it can. I learned this at an early age. I love applause. The biggest rush I've ever felt in my life is taking a solo bow on a stage flooded with lights while an auditorium full of people stood and applauded... me. In my mind I can still close my eyes and take myself back to that moment. I felt. I truly felt. It's that welling of emotions inside you that strangles your throat and turns your stomach and washes your thoughts away and allows you to just feel. It's overwhelming and amazing and it's a feeling that cannot be replaced by anything else. At least not for me.
And it's considered vain by most people. To desire praise. To need affirmation in that most public way. And I'm okay with that. Tonight, the show that, I have to be completely honest, allowed me to find myself again, opens. Tonight, as long as everything flows the way it should. Those applause will once again be mine. And I will treasure them. I will open my heart and let them fill it and then I will hold them inside me for later.
I crave that stage and everything that goes with it. To lose myself in a character. To become someone else, if only for a short time, to escape into a world that is far less mundane than my own. It about suspension of disbelief. And perceptions and I love that on the stage, my reality is irrelevant. That someone's story is more important than my own. It's the drama queen in me. You get to play with heightened emotions and words. You get to dance around topics not discussed. You are allowed to push social strictures and politically correct lines and vulgar phrasing and just be. Just be. As people we are never allowed to just be. I think, and hope, that at some point in my life, I will be able to sit and just be. I imagine its a feeling of calm within oneself. I've come close in Pilates classes to reaching that place. That absoluteness of peace. And then my brain kicks in. The closest I ever come, is in the applause. When it surrounds me. When it washes over me. When the applause immerse me in absolute sound and shut my brain off. I can't think in the applause, I can only feel.
I really need to find one of those boxes.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Taking it All Back
Do you watch The Middle? Well, if you don't you should. Especially if you are a parent. Here's a link to The Middle's page on abc.com, however to watch the "Taking Back the House" episode you will have to google it.
Besides being hilarious the episode really got me thinking. Most parents do cater to their children's demands. Jason and I are definitely considered strict for today's parenting generation. But I was raised by older parents so I guess that is to be expected. It annoys me to no end when I see parents give in in public so that their embarrassment can be spared. Really the only people judging you in public are the people who don't have kids... and they need to package up that little piece of advice for when they understand! Parents don't judge other parents parenting techniques (within reason - don't flat out beat or berate you child), we know better. It's hard. That doesn't mean it isn't amazing (as this episode points out - watch it!) but it's hard.
So here are a few of my "overly strict" rules:
1. I'm not a short order cook. Eat what I put in front of you or don't eat. Those are your options... at least until your 8 or 9 and then you can get your happy little fanny up and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
2. When I tell you to do something, do it. Not when you're ready, not tomorrow, now. This is not negotionable and no, it cannot wait until your show is over.
3. Make your bed. It's small, I understand but its the lesson here. Learn to do this, as it will help you be a cleaner, neater person later on.
4. Clean up your toys. I don't want them on my living room floor. I pay for that floor, I get t make the rules regarding it.
5. Wear what I provide for you. And at this time (the toddler years) wear what I put on your body. Your clothing is up to me and you will look presentable when you walk out of my front door or you won't walk out of it at all.
So, and I've had this debate with many, I am of the belief system that at this time my child has no choices of their own. I make them. They can pick what toys they play with... that is really about it. Their jobs are to: Eat, learn and sleep. And later it will be to eat, go to school, learn and sleep. As they get even older, we will throw some decision making into that but currently, I win. I get final say. End of discussion. I know this is kind of cold but here is the deal. Children (in my personal opinion) have way too much freedom now-a-days. Growing up no one allowed me to pick the dinner menu, no one allowed me to decide where I wanted to go on Saturday afternoon, no one dropped everything to entertain me, and I most definitely was not allowed to pick my own clothing until I was somewhere around 14 or 15. Clothing is a big thing with me lately... most teenagers look like idiots and the current boys fashions are the worst. Don't get me started on yellow skinny jeans and Chucks!
The thing is my Dad gave me this advice when I was pregnant the first time,"It's your home, your life. The baby is joining your family not the other way around." That's para-phrased poorly but it really stuck with me. The boys came into Jason and I's life. We enjoy watching movies so we still do. We just can't do it at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday anymore. We enjoy wandering bookstores so we still do, we just can't do it for 4 hours at a time anymore. Things change, things must be adjusted. But its my life, it's my home. And my children live within it, not the other way around.
Besides being hilarious the episode really got me thinking. Most parents do cater to their children's demands. Jason and I are definitely considered strict for today's parenting generation. But I was raised by older parents so I guess that is to be expected. It annoys me to no end when I see parents give in in public so that their embarrassment can be spared. Really the only people judging you in public are the people who don't have kids... and they need to package up that little piece of advice for when they understand! Parents don't judge other parents parenting techniques (within reason - don't flat out beat or berate you child), we know better. It's hard. That doesn't mean it isn't amazing (as this episode points out - watch it!) but it's hard.
So here are a few of my "overly strict" rules:
1. I'm not a short order cook. Eat what I put in front of you or don't eat. Those are your options... at least until your 8 or 9 and then you can get your happy little fanny up and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
2. When I tell you to do something, do it. Not when you're ready, not tomorrow, now. This is not negotionable and no, it cannot wait until your show is over.
3. Make your bed. It's small, I understand but its the lesson here. Learn to do this, as it will help you be a cleaner, neater person later on.
4. Clean up your toys. I don't want them on my living room floor. I pay for that floor, I get t make the rules regarding it.
5. Wear what I provide for you. And at this time (the toddler years) wear what I put on your body. Your clothing is up to me and you will look presentable when you walk out of my front door or you won't walk out of it at all.
So, and I've had this debate with many, I am of the belief system that at this time my child has no choices of their own. I make them. They can pick what toys they play with... that is really about it. Their jobs are to: Eat, learn and sleep. And later it will be to eat, go to school, learn and sleep. As they get even older, we will throw some decision making into that but currently, I win. I get final say. End of discussion. I know this is kind of cold but here is the deal. Children (in my personal opinion) have way too much freedom now-a-days. Growing up no one allowed me to pick the dinner menu, no one allowed me to decide where I wanted to go on Saturday afternoon, no one dropped everything to entertain me, and I most definitely was not allowed to pick my own clothing until I was somewhere around 14 or 15. Clothing is a big thing with me lately... most teenagers look like idiots and the current boys fashions are the worst. Don't get me started on yellow skinny jeans and Chucks!
The thing is my Dad gave me this advice when I was pregnant the first time,"It's your home, your life. The baby is joining your family not the other way around." That's para-phrased poorly but it really stuck with me. The boys came into Jason and I's life. We enjoy watching movies so we still do. We just can't do it at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday anymore. We enjoy wandering bookstores so we still do, we just can't do it for 4 hours at a time anymore. Things change, things must be adjusted. But its my life, it's my home. And my children live within it, not the other way around.
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