Do you watch The Middle? Well, if you don't you should. Especially if you are a parent. Here's a link to The Middle's page on abc.com, however to watch the "Taking Back the House" episode you will have to google it.
Besides being hilarious the episode really got me thinking. Most parents do cater to their children's demands. Jason and I are definitely considered strict for today's parenting generation. But I was raised by older parents so I guess that is to be expected. It annoys me to no end when I see parents give in in public so that their embarrassment can be spared. Really the only people judging you in public are the people who don't have kids... and they need to package up that little piece of advice for when they understand! Parents don't judge other parents parenting techniques (within reason - don't flat out beat or berate you child), we know better. It's hard. That doesn't mean it isn't amazing (as this episode points out - watch it!) but it's hard.
So here are a few of my "overly strict" rules:
1. I'm not a short order cook. Eat what I put in front of you or don't eat. Those are your options... at least until your 8 or 9 and then you can get your happy little fanny up and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
2. When I tell you to do something, do it. Not when you're ready, not tomorrow, now. This is not negotionable and no, it cannot wait until your show is over.
3. Make your bed. It's small, I understand but its the lesson here. Learn to do this, as it will help you be a cleaner, neater person later on.
4. Clean up your toys. I don't want them on my living room floor. I pay for that floor, I get t make the rules regarding it.
5. Wear what I provide for you. And at this time (the toddler years) wear what I put on your body. Your clothing is up to me and you will look presentable when you walk out of my front door or you won't walk out of it at all.
So, and I've had this debate with many, I am of the belief system that at this time my child has no choices of their own. I make them. They can pick what toys they play with... that is really about it. Their jobs are to: Eat, learn and sleep. And later it will be to eat, go to school, learn and sleep. As they get even older, we will throw some decision making into that but currently, I win. I get final say. End of discussion. I know this is kind of cold but here is the deal. Children (in my personal opinion) have way too much freedom now-a-days. Growing up no one allowed me to pick the dinner menu, no one allowed me to decide where I wanted to go on Saturday afternoon, no one dropped everything to entertain me, and I most definitely was not allowed to pick my own clothing until I was somewhere around 14 or 15. Clothing is a big thing with me lately... most teenagers look like idiots and the current boys fashions are the worst. Don't get me started on yellow skinny jeans and Chucks!
The thing is my Dad gave me this advice when I was pregnant the first time,"It's your home, your life. The baby is joining your family not the other way around." That's para-phrased poorly but it really stuck with me. The boys came into Jason and I's life. We enjoy watching movies so we still do. We just can't do it at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday anymore. We enjoy wandering bookstores so we still do, we just can't do it for 4 hours at a time anymore. Things change, things must be adjusted. But its my life, it's my home. And my children live within it, not the other way around.
No comments:
Post a Comment