I work!

I don't get vacation days or sick days or personal days. I work through migraines, stomach bugs and fevers. I'm a maid, a housekeeper, a minor emergency nurse, a maintenance worker, a gardener, a chef (or special order cook depending on the day), a teacher, an interior decorator and an event/ party planner. I repeat myself constantly and on a daily basis am faced with the challenge of never enough time.

I grocery shop and menu plan. I budget and spend. I worry. I worry. I worry. And I care more than one person should.

I try my best to get a shower in everyday. I try my best to look presentable. I try my best to keep everything together.

I don't have a union rep but boy would I love one. Even though, let's be realistic, I can never actually go on strike. I don't get a paycheck or a tax break or aid from our government. Even though I'm solely responsible for two members of the future of our society and culture. There was no licensing exam for my job. No one checked to see if I was qualified. There was no interview process.

I've been entrusted with lives that are not my own and told repeatedly by society that it is important that I take time out for myself. Which I try to do. But that time to myself is usually spent wondering what is going on while I'm not there. My brain never shuts off, my lists are always getting longer and nothing is ever actually finished.

However...

I am supplied with never ending stories and laughter and smiles. Giggles and tickles and playful wrestling. I read and I play and I color and I bake and I eat and I'm brought to tears by the wonder that is the "first" time. The first smile, the first crawl, the first step, the first tooth. The first art project, the first big boy hair cut, the first hug... and most importantly, the first, "I love you too, Mommy."

I get bath-time and play-time and bed-time. I'm amazed at how much two little hands can change in two little years and how just by looking at those hands I knew my oldest wasn't a baby anymore. I change diapers and though lets face it, it's a job I could do without, I'm needed. My existence on this earth is priceless. I'm depended on. Two little men know that no matter where they go or what they do with their lives, their Mommy loves them. Or if they don't know it now, they will some day.

Because all those "things" that I do, I do for them. At no point in my life before children did I contemplate my life with children. And no point did I ever think I could gain so much joy and happiness from the word, Mommy, being spoken by a 1 year old. At no point did I think it was possible for my heart to literally fill and overflow by merely placing a baby in my arms. Before you have children you never wonder what it is like to hold a life you created and brought into this world. And it is impossible to put into words.

Motherhood is hard. It is often thankless. It is also more than often the best job you will ever take on. But make no mistake it is work. But anything in this life that is worth it is more times than not a lot of hard, thankless, work.