That's right. I haven't finished. I'm 7 hours away from my degree. I was put on bed rest my last trimester, pregnant with Carson. I put in 5 years of hard work and all I have to show for it is a transcript... a very, very long transcript.
So #2 is to finish college. There isn't much more to it then that. Just finish.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
#1: A Healthier Me
So my first, in my 30 before 30 challenge, is an all encompassing goal. A HEALTHIER ME. Basically I want to live forever and look amazing! ;) Don't we all? Seriously, I just want to look good, feel great and know that I've done everything I can to live my best life (no, Oprah, Bob Green or self help narrator needed).
It begins with my need to lose weight. My need to eat better. My need to keep myself in check. My need to love myself. Like I said all encompassing. This one is really a goal for this year specifically. And is part of my baby step program. One day at a time. One tiny step at a time. I've recently (3 weeks now) started going back to the gym 4-5 days a week. I alternate 2 hours of cardio with 30 minutes of cardio/1 hour of weight training/30 minutes of ab work. It's an every other day thing, it's intense and I'm sore most of the time. But I feel things changing and I know I'm mere days away from seeing things change.
I recently ordered a Bodybugg and am very excited about it. Please visit the website. I've heard great things, really liked what I've researched and though the initial investment seemed expensive, I think it will be the turning point in my journey. And that is exactly what this is going to be. A journey, one that never ends. I'm not going to wake up 3 years form now, look in the mirror and go okay I'm done. I've arrived where I want to be. Things change, life changes, goals change, how you look changes... everything changes and I have to learn to grow with the change.
The Bodybugg has an online program to help with calorie intake which is a big one for me. I'm an emotional eater. I'm happy, I eat. I'm sad, I eat. I'm bored, I eat. I tun to food to comfort me. To sooth me. To aid me in my day. I don't want food to be my nucleus anymore.
I also hope that in creating a healthier me I become the example my children want to follow. I know, thanks to genetics, that obese children are not going to be a problem for me. Even though I don't eat all that well, my children are fed as if their bodies are temples. Which of course they are. Organic, whole grains, fruits and veggies, few refined sugars, small meals, well rounded snacks. I'm ridiculous about my children and I've let myself become a trash can. Carson is allergic to corn. You read that one correctly! So his allergy really has aided us in creating a healthier home.
So #1: A healthier me. Stay tuned... steps are being taken, let's see how this goes!
It begins with my need to lose weight. My need to eat better. My need to keep myself in check. My need to love myself. Like I said all encompassing. This one is really a goal for this year specifically. And is part of my baby step program. One day at a time. One tiny step at a time. I've recently (3 weeks now) started going back to the gym 4-5 days a week. I alternate 2 hours of cardio with 30 minutes of cardio/1 hour of weight training/30 minutes of ab work. It's an every other day thing, it's intense and I'm sore most of the time. But I feel things changing and I know I'm mere days away from seeing things change.
I recently ordered a Bodybugg and am very excited about it. Please visit the website. I've heard great things, really liked what I've researched and though the initial investment seemed expensive, I think it will be the turning point in my journey. And that is exactly what this is going to be. A journey, one that never ends. I'm not going to wake up 3 years form now, look in the mirror and go okay I'm done. I've arrived where I want to be. Things change, life changes, goals change, how you look changes... everything changes and I have to learn to grow with the change.
The Bodybugg has an online program to help with calorie intake which is a big one for me. I'm an emotional eater. I'm happy, I eat. I'm sad, I eat. I'm bored, I eat. I tun to food to comfort me. To sooth me. To aid me in my day. I don't want food to be my nucleus anymore.
I also hope that in creating a healthier me I become the example my children want to follow. I know, thanks to genetics, that obese children are not going to be a problem for me. Even though I don't eat all that well, my children are fed as if their bodies are temples. Which of course they are. Organic, whole grains, fruits and veggies, few refined sugars, small meals, well rounded snacks. I'm ridiculous about my children and I've let myself become a trash can. Carson is allergic to corn. You read that one correctly! So his allergy really has aided us in creating a healthier home.
So #1: A healthier me. Stay tuned... steps are being taken, let's see how this goes!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
30 BEFORE 30
It's not a bucket list as I am not dying... at least anytime soon. Hopefully. Please God. Anywhooooo.....
My friend Diana, did this 30 before 30 on her blog and I just sort of fell in love with the idea. Small attainable goals that start you down a path to larger ones. So everyday for the next 30 days I will give you a goal, one of my 30. I am 27. I just turned 27 on February 18th (I did not receive a card from you... you know who you are) and it was one of those rare, amazing birthdays. My husband whisked me away to the NYLO in Plano. It was like 10 miles from my house!!! I'm joshing but I'm serious.
He gave me a "sick" day. Now if you are a mommy, especially a stay at home mommy, you know better than most, we don't get sick days. We get sick but we don't get time off. We just keep going. There is no lounging in bed while the fevers subsides, there is no staying 15 feet away from all food substances when you feel as if you are about to hurl your intestines all over kingdom come and its suburbs, no one makes you soup. You get up, pop some pills and walk through the day at a death row pace. You have to. So this "sick" day idea... seriously husbands, best idea ever! We went to the spa and had a couples massage, we watched movies at the Angelika, we ate and stayed in an awesome hotel, we ate some more. No one pulled on the edge of my shirt to get my attention, no one said Mommy over and over and over again, not once did I have to crawl onto the floor and build anything, race anything or search for anything. Greatest weekend ever!
Back to the 30... If you read my blog you know I have goals already set up for this year. And I plan on maintaining those. Some of those goals will flow into the 30 before 30 and some will remain separate. Some of these will be silly, some will be serious, some will be simple. Just 30 things I want to do or feel I need to do. Seems like a good idea, right? I thought so too!
My friend Diana, did this 30 before 30 on her blog and I just sort of fell in love with the idea. Small attainable goals that start you down a path to larger ones. So everyday for the next 30 days I will give you a goal, one of my 30. I am 27. I just turned 27 on February 18th (I did not receive a card from you... you know who you are) and it was one of those rare, amazing birthdays. My husband whisked me away to the NYLO in Plano. It was like 10 miles from my house!!! I'm joshing but I'm serious.
He gave me a "sick" day. Now if you are a mommy, especially a stay at home mommy, you know better than most, we don't get sick days. We get sick but we don't get time off. We just keep going. There is no lounging in bed while the fevers subsides, there is no staying 15 feet away from all food substances when you feel as if you are about to hurl your intestines all over kingdom come and its suburbs, no one makes you soup. You get up, pop some pills and walk through the day at a death row pace. You have to. So this "sick" day idea... seriously husbands, best idea ever! We went to the spa and had a couples massage, we watched movies at the Angelika, we ate and stayed in an awesome hotel, we ate some more. No one pulled on the edge of my shirt to get my attention, no one said Mommy over and over and over again, not once did I have to crawl onto the floor and build anything, race anything or search for anything. Greatest weekend ever!
Back to the 30... If you read my blog you know I have goals already set up for this year. And I plan on maintaining those. Some of those goals will flow into the 30 before 30 and some will remain separate. Some of these will be silly, some will be serious, some will be simple. Just 30 things I want to do or feel I need to do. Seems like a good idea, right? I thought so too!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Baby step number 1
I received a wake-up call today. In retrospect I think I've been receiving them all week but I'm going to focus at first on today's: I stepped on the scale at the gym. I did this for multiple reasons. the first being I don't own a scale. I've always prided myself in that fact and I know it seems a silly thing to take pride in but I thought I was making a statement. I don't own a scale because truly, I do not want the number to matter. Any of the numbers... not the poundage, not the dress size. I want the numbers to be irrelevant. I want to look in the mirror and be happy and I think that it shouldn't have anything to do with a number. But recently, and really for some time now, I haven't looked in the mirror and been happy.
Right after Logan was born (if you are new to my blog or to me in general, he is my second son), I got right back on the wagon. I was at the gym or the Pilates studio at least 5 days a week, most weeks it was 6 and that baby weight came flying off of me. I looked good, I felt great. And it was really about the feelings to be honest. I was more patient with my kiddos, I was sleeping better, I was a person who was truly enjoying her life, her husband, her family. So don't knock endorphins... they're real. But beyond the endorphins it was a feeling of contentment. No I wasn't a size 8 again, no the scale did not say 145 again (that is the ultimate goal by the by) and no I had not been awarded an exorbitant amount of money. I was happy with myself. For working out, for focusing on my health, for keeping a cleaner house, for getting my business back up and running. You see it was a waterfall effect. Once I liked myself again it became easier to dive back in, to take charge of myself again, to really embrace myself.
And then the Fall came... that's quite a metaphor. I'm speaking of Autumn but it was the beginning of my decent back into the "just getting by" place in my life. We've all lived there within ourselves. I just seem to go back there constantly. Pre-school started back up, Logan was diagnosed with a heart defect, things were taking more of my time and the more I pushed the harder I slid backwards. Gym time was the first to go. It's the easiest to get rid of. Take it out of my day and I instantly free up 1 1/2 to 3 hours every day. Then it was the work time. The time I spent on my business daily. And then one day I looked up and I wasn't doing any of the things that had helped me put the smile back into the reflection.
So I auditioned for a play. And I'll be honest I faced a lot of demons by doing that. I was really scared that I couldn't do theatre anymore. That I'd lost the drive. (Go back to November to learn more) But when I got the part of Claire in Proof, a part of me clicked back into place again. The show kept me trudging along. Proof was my net through the holidays. It was my link to myself while I dove into the craziness that is Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that craziness brought with it almost 25 pounds. See I got back around to it...
I'm one of those really lucky girls. People look at me and think, "she's a little pudgy", "she could stand to lose a few pounds"... but no one ever thinks, "Dang that girl is fat". I'm tall, I'm curvy, I have a larger chest. These, my friends, are fat illusions. As long as I dress well and hold my head up high, I look thinner. Don't get me wrong, thank you genetics and God for the blessings, but it isn't real. It hides the fact that today I stepped on a scale and saw 197 flash before my eyes.
197.
3 pounds from 200. I have weighed over 200 before but I was pregnant with Carson. And I'd done everything a pregnant woman was not supposed to do. And when you are 8 1/2 months pregnant and you see 203 on the scale there just isn't a whole lot to be done until after the baby is born. It took me 2 whole years and my first trimester with Logan to lose the 67 pounds I gained pregnant with Carson. It was hard and it was hell. So with Logan I did it all right. I excercised, I watched what I ate, I followed every rule out there and I put on 25 lbs. And I lost it all within 4 months of having Logan. And I was damn proud of myself.
And in one holiday season, in just a few short months, I let myself down. I failed myself and put it all of that weight back on. And it was so easy to do. I stopped working out. I ate whatever I wanted. I just flat out gave up all of my hard work and allowed myself to go back to hating my reflection. Now my reflection mocks me. It says you know how but you still can't.
I'm a smart woman. I know there were contributing factors outside of my control. I know that I'm being hard on myself. Well I think it's time to be hard on myself. I'm not going to list my goals here. I have large, lofty goals. I'm going to start taking baby steps. Tiny stairs that will place me back on that pedestal of self worth. Gym time. That is the first step... and I took it today.
Right after Logan was born (if you are new to my blog or to me in general, he is my second son), I got right back on the wagon. I was at the gym or the Pilates studio at least 5 days a week, most weeks it was 6 and that baby weight came flying off of me. I looked good, I felt great. And it was really about the feelings to be honest. I was more patient with my kiddos, I was sleeping better, I was a person who was truly enjoying her life, her husband, her family. So don't knock endorphins... they're real. But beyond the endorphins it was a feeling of contentment. No I wasn't a size 8 again, no the scale did not say 145 again (that is the ultimate goal by the by) and no I had not been awarded an exorbitant amount of money. I was happy with myself. For working out, for focusing on my health, for keeping a cleaner house, for getting my business back up and running. You see it was a waterfall effect. Once I liked myself again it became easier to dive back in, to take charge of myself again, to really embrace myself.
And then the Fall came... that's quite a metaphor. I'm speaking of Autumn but it was the beginning of my decent back into the "just getting by" place in my life. We've all lived there within ourselves. I just seem to go back there constantly. Pre-school started back up, Logan was diagnosed with a heart defect, things were taking more of my time and the more I pushed the harder I slid backwards. Gym time was the first to go. It's the easiest to get rid of. Take it out of my day and I instantly free up 1 1/2 to 3 hours every day. Then it was the work time. The time I spent on my business daily. And then one day I looked up and I wasn't doing any of the things that had helped me put the smile back into the reflection.
So I auditioned for a play. And I'll be honest I faced a lot of demons by doing that. I was really scared that I couldn't do theatre anymore. That I'd lost the drive. (Go back to November to learn more) But when I got the part of Claire in Proof, a part of me clicked back into place again. The show kept me trudging along. Proof was my net through the holidays. It was my link to myself while I dove into the craziness that is Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that craziness brought with it almost 25 pounds. See I got back around to it...
I'm one of those really lucky girls. People look at me and think, "she's a little pudgy", "she could stand to lose a few pounds"... but no one ever thinks, "Dang that girl is fat". I'm tall, I'm curvy, I have a larger chest. These, my friends, are fat illusions. As long as I dress well and hold my head up high, I look thinner. Don't get me wrong, thank you genetics and God for the blessings, but it isn't real. It hides the fact that today I stepped on a scale and saw 197 flash before my eyes.
197.
3 pounds from 200. I have weighed over 200 before but I was pregnant with Carson. And I'd done everything a pregnant woman was not supposed to do. And when you are 8 1/2 months pregnant and you see 203 on the scale there just isn't a whole lot to be done until after the baby is born. It took me 2 whole years and my first trimester with Logan to lose the 67 pounds I gained pregnant with Carson. It was hard and it was hell. So with Logan I did it all right. I excercised, I watched what I ate, I followed every rule out there and I put on 25 lbs. And I lost it all within 4 months of having Logan. And I was damn proud of myself.
And in one holiday season, in just a few short months, I let myself down. I failed myself and put it all of that weight back on. And it was so easy to do. I stopped working out. I ate whatever I wanted. I just flat out gave up all of my hard work and allowed myself to go back to hating my reflection. Now my reflection mocks me. It says you know how but you still can't.
I'm a smart woman. I know there were contributing factors outside of my control. I know that I'm being hard on myself. Well I think it's time to be hard on myself. I'm not going to list my goals here. I have large, lofty goals. I'm going to start taking baby steps. Tiny stairs that will place me back on that pedestal of self worth. Gym time. That is the first step... and I took it today.
Friday, February 4, 2011
More organizing... the small stuff
Cabinets, pantry. Seriously the small stuff. I've posted pictures below... I know it isn't really all that interesting. But I've been stuck in the house for 4 days so I'm going a little stir crazy!
The BEFORE and AFTER of the Baby Food Cupboard...
The BEFORE and AFTER of the Baby Food Cupboard...
The BEFORE and AFTER of the Spice Cabinet...
The BEFORE and AFTER of the Pantry...
I've used these really cool handled baskets from The Container Store. I saw them on one of Oprah's re-do shows. They are very neat and make taking things in and out of the cabinets very easy. Especially for the baby food that comes in the pouches and not jars. And for baking supplies. Don't worry I have more to come... The office is very close to being finished!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
ICE is NICE
I am a winter girl! I really am. I love the cold and the snow and especially the winter clothes. I prefer sweaters and layers and scarves and cute hats and boots. Well... let's be honest I do not discriminate when it comes to footwear. I love all pretty shoes. You do notice the pretty, that is important. Ugly shoes are not my friends. I hate to be hot and I hate to sweat. My hair looks better in the winter (this is because I'm not sweating) and so does my skin (no oil to ruin good make-up days). Yes, I have to double up on the moisturizer but I can handle that. I get it. The above is a little superficial and vain. We've discussed this previously, I'm vain. I'm okay with that.
But there are other things I like. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines... just a few of my faves. I love to bake and snuggle on the couch or take a hot bath. All things that I prefer to do when it is cold outside. I'm a huge fan of hot cocoa and of soup! Again, preferable in the cold winter months. And snow days! Yes, I do love them. I love having my hubby home (though that does not happen often) and for the most part I like being trapped in the house with my kiddos. Mostly... anyway.
However we are now nearing 72 hours of being inside this house with my two little men. I know I could go out. I'm a very steady driver and I could definitely handle it. But below 20 degrees is a little too cold to take little people outside if it isn't necessary. Also we'd just be moving from the inside of our house to the inside of the mall or Target or (and if the day care was open) the gym. The gym I would actually venture forth to but alas, the Fun Club is closed. And at least our stale, trapped in the house air is only contaminated with our germs. The mall air or Target air, well, you get the picture.
So I've been cleaning and organizing. Cupboards, the pantry, the office, and cabinet I see that could use an improvement. Closets. Oh the closets. I'm desperately trying to be productive. I even got dressed yesterday. Make-up and hair an all, even though it was really pointless. I'm rambling I realize but I'm circling back to my point, I promise. I'm sorting the junk and the toys and scouring the internet for storage solutions and a new dresser for Carson's room and new craft ideas for me.
So... what is the point, right? Well, I still love winter. I really do! I like being cold but I like being 45 degree cold. I'm high maintenance. Really I am. I know, hard to believe! I'm picky about my cold and I'm picky about my snow, could it be fluffy, throwing snow ball snow? I'd prefer that to sticky, wet, eat away at your flesh snow. And I need the 1" think sheet of ice covering everything outside to melt and go away. AND... I need to get out of my house! Oh dear Lord in heaven above, I need to get out of my house!
But there are other things I like. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines... just a few of my faves. I love to bake and snuggle on the couch or take a hot bath. All things that I prefer to do when it is cold outside. I'm a huge fan of hot cocoa and of soup! Again, preferable in the cold winter months. And snow days! Yes, I do love them. I love having my hubby home (though that does not happen often) and for the most part I like being trapped in the house with my kiddos. Mostly... anyway.
However we are now nearing 72 hours of being inside this house with my two little men. I know I could go out. I'm a very steady driver and I could definitely handle it. But below 20 degrees is a little too cold to take little people outside if it isn't necessary. Also we'd just be moving from the inside of our house to the inside of the mall or Target or (and if the day care was open) the gym. The gym I would actually venture forth to but alas, the Fun Club is closed. And at least our stale, trapped in the house air is only contaminated with our germs. The mall air or Target air, well, you get the picture.
So I've been cleaning and organizing. Cupboards, the pantry, the office, and cabinet I see that could use an improvement. Closets. Oh the closets. I'm desperately trying to be productive. I even got dressed yesterday. Make-up and hair an all, even though it was really pointless. I'm rambling I realize but I'm circling back to my point, I promise. I'm sorting the junk and the toys and scouring the internet for storage solutions and a new dresser for Carson's room and new craft ideas for me.
So... what is the point, right? Well, I still love winter. I really do! I like being cold but I like being 45 degree cold. I'm high maintenance. Really I am. I know, hard to believe! I'm picky about my cold and I'm picky about my snow, could it be fluffy, throwing snow ball snow? I'd prefer that to sticky, wet, eat away at your flesh snow. And I need the 1" think sheet of ice covering everything outside to melt and go away. AND... I need to get out of my house! Oh dear Lord in heaven above, I need to get out of my house!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
And we've begun...
Last weekend, we started the cleaning and organizing monster. He's an ugly monster and he is currently living perched on my shoulder as a constant reminder that I'm not working fast enough. I just want it all done! The cleaning (base boards, fans, corners of walls) went smoothly. And at the same time took much longer than I had anticipated. My wonderful hubby did the bulk of the office gutting for me. And it all currently resides in my formal living and dining room. Which, though it is annoying, really allowed us to take a good look at the office and decide what needed to happen.
We decided to go vertical and are now Container Store ELFA converts. It is kind of amazing. Mount one bracket to the wall, making sure to hit at least one stud and then everything slides on and hangs from it. Needless to say, we are officially on our way to getting the clutter under control. I'm posting before pictures now. It's going to take a couple of days to really finish. We own too much stuff! I'm really trying to get serious with myself about what is necessary and what isn't... but let's face it! I'm an actress and a crafter and a stay-at-home mommy! I'm a trifecta of hoarding personalities! What if I need it later?!?!?!?!?! Like I said, I'm working on it.
Those two pictures, directly above this sentence? That's all the crap... well sort of. The bulk of the scrapbook stuff is still in the room. But its getting ready to come out as well. I normally love doing stuff like this. Right now? Well, right now I hate it!
We decided to go vertical and are now Container Store ELFA converts. It is kind of amazing. Mount one bracket to the wall, making sure to hit at least one stud and then everything slides on and hangs from it. Needless to say, we are officially on our way to getting the clutter under control. I'm posting before pictures now. It's going to take a couple of days to really finish. We own too much stuff! I'm really trying to get serious with myself about what is necessary and what isn't... but let's face it! I'm an actress and a crafter and a stay-at-home mommy! I'm a trifecta of hoarding personalities! What if I need it later?!?!?!?!?! Like I said, I'm working on it.
Those two pictures, directly above this sentence? That's all the crap... well sort of. The bulk of the scrapbook stuff is still in the room. But its getting ready to come out as well. I normally love doing stuff like this. Right now? Well, right now I hate it!
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